Breathe Me
by Rainbows ' Butterflies xx
Summary: "When I try to remember what being happy felt like, i can't, i don't feel joy, i don't feel inspired, i feel, numb," What do you do when your only company is misery and depression is your only friend. LP. My fanfiction debut.  horrible summary
1. Chapter 1

Hello x]]

Well, this is it, my first story, my big debut. I've been browsing on ff for a while now and i've always wanted to start my own fic but i guess i was afraid of the outcome.

beware. this will be very depressing at first, but i gurantee you a happy ending. This is going to be Leyton of course, but you will see a little of Brooke and maybe a bit of Naley, not sure yet.

i think thats it :D please read and review and be nice please, remember this is my first fic.

(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, just my crazy imagination :D)

enjoy x

**Breathe Me**

The warm breeze of the cool spring air brushed against Peyton Scott's delicate porcelain skinned face as she held a mixture of newly blossomed mixture of lillies and roses in her moisturised soft palms. She shivered slightly, feeling countless gossebumps on her arms and legs with chills continously journeying up and down her spine, due to the coldness of this terrible, _terrible place._

Slowly, she fell to her fragile and skinny, boney knees, then seated herself on a not comfortable, but not uncomfortable position on the fully grown, shamrock green grass. The weight her heart carried increasing by the minute, soon the pressure would be _unbearable._

She sniffled soundly, no one was going to hear her, _no one ever heard her._

As her auburn locks blocked the vision through her right eye, she tucked it behind her ears, to witness a glance at the headstone that lay before her, when she placed the flowers infront of the object, she read the text engraved:

_Sawyer Brooke Scott_

_Born and Died 18 May 2009_

_Beloved Daughter_

She couldn't hold it in any longer, her heart bursted into a million pieces and the tears that, before threatned to fall, broke onto her fragile cheeks and stained her skin. She let out a whimper and a scream of distress, so heart-wrenching and so unbearable; it would shatter, even a cold blooded heart.

Water continously fell from her eyelids, until her eyes stung. She buried her face in her palms hoping and praying, something, anything would immune her from this unbearable pain.

This always happened to her. People always left. But why? Why did they always leave. It wasn't fair.

All of a sudden she felt the startling sound of a vibration from the pocket of her coat, as she picked the device up, she peered at the caller ID and sighed. _Lucas_.

Soon, she journeyed home, well in that direction, then hesitantly changed her route. She couldn't face him like this, he thought she was just fine, she didn't want him to worry.

Peyton stumbled at the familliar front porch and clenched her fingers to a fist to imply a knock on the door before her, then waited anxiously for the vacant. She was let out of her misery when the door swung open, the human being standing before her had a cheerful smile, however it faded when she saw her best friends tired, bloodshot eyes.

"Peyton- what, are you okay?" Brooke asked in concern, "I can't do it Brooke- i, It's only been a week, I don't know, I just," She choked the words out of her mouth, not being able to say anymore she broke down in tears.

Brooke wrapped her arms around Peyton's petite, delicate frame, attempting to shelter her from the heart-wrenching pain, "Shh, it's going to be okay," She reassured her, holding her while she cried, "I'm here," She told her for certain, "I'm not going anymore, i'll get you through this," Brooke comforted her.

All that proceeded was Peyton's countless distressing cries on Brooke's Shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again :D**

**First I would like to say I' suprised at the reviews you guys gave e on chapter one. I know it was pretty short and not very good and even though i only got four. four is better than zero, right? so again thank you.**

**FYI: this chapter and the ones ahead wil be very emotional and depressing. I actually cried writing this. yes THATS how pathetic and sad i am :D**

**Sorry about the mistakes in the first chapter. My typing. crap. my handwriting. even worse x]]**

**Disclaier: I don't own anything.**

**Enjoy x**

**xx**

**. . . . .**

She was glued to her seat outside her house for hours now. She couldn't enter that house; hell she couldn't even exit the comet. She had never been so angry at those pedestrians for smiling. If she couldn't smile anymore, why should they? It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

Her phone vibrated for the thousandth time. All the missed calls and voicemail messages were all from him. She wanted to talk to him, she wanted to share her feelings, she wanted to break down, throw her arms around him and cry, but everytime she thought of him, she thought of Sawyer and the family they could have been.

And that house. In the past that house made her happy, it made her feel so safe and secure. That home saved her from the pain and sadness and somehow it made her happy. But now, seeing that nursery every day, threw her into rock bottom.

Using all her strength and will power, she threw the car door open and stepped out off it. She looked up at it, clenched her fingers into a fist using the stength she had, she unlocked the door with her key and stepped inside the house.

As she stepped into the building, she was face to face to him, the weight piling inside her returned.

Lucas was not prepared for what his eyes witnessed. He had seen her depressed and sad. In High School when Ellie died or when she was attacked by the fake Derek, he thought that was bad. But this was, unbearable. It shocked him to his very core to see her like this.

"Peyton," He began, struggling to say words, "What hap- Where were you?" He asked, preparing hiself for the answer she was about to shock him with.

"I-was with Brooke," She answered truthfully, then broke her gaze with him off and she walked into the kitchen trying to pay all her attention to washing dishes, she turned on the tap and grabbed a wash cloth.

"Peyton," He adressed her, his voice barely over a whisper, "Yes," She responded not even turning to look at him. Avoiding Deja vu, he slowly stepped toward her and turned to face her . "Luke, I can't do this," She confessed before running off into another room.

She didn't know how she ending up in the nursery, but she did. Tears fored in her eyes as she witnessed the rooms contents: The crystal white small crib, the shelf of little toys, the stuffed animals, and the rocking chair along with Sawyer's little clothes.

She picked up the small piece of clothing from the crib, brought it to her nose and inhaled it's scent. Somehow it smelt like her. Even though she never got a chance to wear it, but somehow it did, if that ade any sense.

She buried her face in the cotton to muffle her endless sobs and heard steps follow behind her. She couldn't pretend she was fine anymore, he knew her better than she knew herself.

He wrappd his arms around her when she turned to face him. She damped his shirt with her endless suppy of water emerging through her eyes and he held her while she cried.

**xx**

"I'm worried about Peyton," Lucas had confessed.

He and Brooke were located in the lounge of her house. Brooke was endlessly sketching; trying to get her mind off the events occuring and focusing on her new line. Lucas was trying engage a conversation with her, trying to get some information which might help him with this situation.

"I know, buddy, me too, but you know how Peyton is, just give her some time." She reassured him, believing her exact words. She stopped drawing for a minute and gave him a slight smile.

"I hope you're right. It's just that when she closes herself from me, I feel hopeless, like i can't help her you know," Lucas asked her.

"I know what you mean, when her Mom died, the first one," She stated to be exact, "She wouldn't talk to anyone, including me, but overtime she got over it, and she'll get over this too, you'll see,"

She concluded.

"Yeah you're probably right," Lucas reluctantly agreed, "So how are things with you and Julian?"

**xx**

Time goes by so slowly when you watch a clock, when you wait for it to be over, but when you enjoy your time, when you're going through good times, not bad ones, time, flies. Why? It's not fair.

Peyton stared at the clock, listening to the constant, annoying sound. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. _All she wanted to do was rip that clock from that wall, smash the glass and rip out the hands because that clock was working fine and she wasn't.

Nights were the worst. Some nights she couldn't sleep at all. She could only think of Sawyer; laying in a coffin buried in dirt. The Days were alost just as bad, it was ok when sh had company though because when she was alone the only company she had was misery and her only friend was depression. She may have had aquaintances in her head, but really she was just all alone.

Like now, she was alone. Lucas had gone out. He was gone. Sawyer's gone. Mia's gone and so is Brooke. She was alone.

Who knew silence could be so loud. She wanted to end this silence. She has to end it. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, to the kitchen and found what she was looking for and headed for the bathroom.

She stared glooily into the crystal clear, transparent substance and stared at the pair of scissors in her right hand. Without a second breath, she dug the scissors into her left hand and dug them downward, causing blood to pour fro her veins...

**xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**HI AGAIN :)**

**So so so so sorry about the wait. Stuff has been going on. :S**

**It's all the fluff with the London Riots is driving me insane so i couldn't write. (BTW im from the uk) Lets just say my high street (Shopping Center, or Mall as you guys call it) is basically on fire (that a good excuse to be late? lol) but it's not as bad as other parts of my country and no ones been seriously injured yet :) so im happy.**

**Okayy back to this fic. I know what you thought of the last chapter 'are you dumb? Peyton would never do that?' 'Are you crazy?' Yep, i know Peyton would never commit suicide, but I'm a guey romantic and helpless sob story sucker and my best friends are happy endings so i'm trying to tackle darker and different issue. So don't worry this will have a happy ending, but it might take me a while.**

**Although its not a lot, thank you for the reviews, i didn't expect anyone to review it considering this is my first story so thank you :)**

**Enjoy :)**

**- Soph**

**xx**

Peyton was sprawled all over the bathroom floor as blood emerged from her veins. She had fallen to the bottom of the room, the weight piling and piling being too much for her to bare. Second by second the pain increased and incrreased in her insides and soon she wouldn't have the courtesy to stay conscious.

This activity she had just experienced had a reason. She was tired of the numbness; she was numb, she wanted to feel something, anything, even if it was pain. All her life she had been engulfed with pain and she never imagined she would want it one day, she never imagined she would _need _it one day.

Within a matter of minutes, she slipped out of consciousness and out of this cruel world and into a wonderful magical place.

**xx**

Lucas' piercing blue eyes had gone from being a kind ocean blue type to a emotion deprived shade of blue fit for the color of rain, like the color of the endless supply of water that fell from his eyes.

He should have seen this coming. She wasn't herself; Yes she had lost her daughter, but he'd seen her witness pain before and this wasn't it. She was a comepletely different person. She need help, one more day with these feelings and she might break.

She didn't die; Peyton was too strong, he told himself and used all his faith to believe it. Soon everyone went home. But he wasn't going to leave her alone, he'd learned his lesson, he was never going to leave her alone again.

As he entered her hospital room, he thought he would explode. This was the ultimate breaking point; It would take one more shatter of glass to kill him. He honestly thought he would drop dead in response to this horrible event.

She didn't say a thing, she couldn't even bare to look at him. She turned away feeling a thousand knives stab her. The hurt and disbelief on his face was too much too bare.

He opened his mouth to speak, to protest, to confront her on why on earth she could do this him, but he abandoned his ego and linked his hand in hers, he held her hand and promised to her as well as himself to never let go again.

Her lips parted small millimetres to speak three words,

"I'm so sorry,"

**xx**

Treatment isn't a cure, sometimes it works, but sometimes, it doesn't. Like chemotherapy isn't a cure for cancer, sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't. Like psychiatry doesn't cure depression, it treats it but it's not a cure.

"I wanted to feel something," Peyton informed the human being sitting accross of herself. It had been two weeks. Two weeks of talking, comfronting feelings and battling insecurities and nothing. Nothing changed.

"And did you feel anything?" She thought about the question she has been asking herself for the past couple of weeks. It lingered in the back of her mind.

"Yes," her lips parted to speak the answer, she did feel something. Her whole world wasn't full to the max of numbness anymore, but she still couldn't feel a thing, so, what the hell did that mean?

"Pain," She dug into the question with more depth and dived deeper and deeper, until she reached the bottom of the ocean.

"Physical pain," She began to wrap up the long answer.

"But- Nothing else,"

"Have you felt anything else since that day?" The therapist asked and asked various questions after which made no difference.

**xx**

She exited the therapist's office and gave a small smile to the person who's eyes locked on her. Her sweet smile and warm essence made that cold room feel like a heat wave, she gave her a slight smile as she locked eyes with her

"Hi, how was it?" Brooke's cheerful voice echoed in her ears, while she rose from her seat and approached her. She wanted to ask her thousands of questions about it but put her curiousity aside, putting into consideration that she was forced to answer thousands of questions in the past two weeks.

"Better than last week," She truthfully answered, before Brooke linked her arm through hers and they walked on the wooden tiled floors and walked out the glass automatic doors, exiting the building. As they were set free into the cool summer breeze, Brooke's phone began to ring; all attention was devoted to the small device.

"Hey..Oh ok...,yeah, of course i'll be there, bye," She hung up the phone making her cheerful smile turn to a frown, she prepared her words carefully and braced for what Peyton's reaction be. She looked at her in guilt as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I've got to go, Julian's car broke down, i'm sorry Peyton, I," She stuttered on her words, clearly guilty for leaving her; hoping she would understand and worried about the next few seconds.

"Brooke, It's okay, just go, I can get home by myself. trust me i'll be fine," She reassured her, using the best act she had to convince her. Although it didn't convince her greatly, she agreed to it.

"Okay.., just call me, if you need me," She stated, still not sure on leaving. She gave Peyton a small farewell hug and said goodbye, before disappearing into the main road.

**xx**

Peyton headed home; in the direction of her destination. It was Friday afternoon and the traffic was driving her insane, she hated traffic. She decided to take a little shortcut.

Living in this place for all her life, she knew it off by heart, she walked in a woodland layed out shortcut with fully grown grass. She was just about to exit the shortcut when she heard a distressing growl-like noise.

"What the hell?" She asked herself, as she turned back and listened to the unknown noise, she used her hearing to locate the sound, she made her way through some bushes and past some trees. When she located the noise, the sight before her _shocked_ her to her very core.

"Oh my god!"

**xx**

**dun dun dun :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Waddup! x]**

**Sorry for the wait again. Idk whats wrong with me, my inspiration has been soo dry lately and i've been soo lousy. i can't believe i'm about to say this but i miss skool :s what the smurf is wrong with me?**

**BTW:**

**xpinkhearts: Thank you for reading, even though i told you not too. you son of a smurf :D but thank you, hearing that from you means the world ily sissy. and when i write a book i promise i'll dedicate it too you.**

**Cayt326: Yeah i obv. wasn't gonna kill her lol. but thank you for reviewing every single chapter :D**

**Kellyy: Thanks for the support on the riots& the story. yes it has calmed down now and i think it has stopped and i've finally finished this one, i don't know why but i never have time to write its soo weird. anyway thanks for the support.**

**also thank you too**

**Kit147**

**Biddy429**

**AnnOTH21**

**you guys are the bestt :D**

**So onto thiss i know it's a bit different too other stories, but i'm fourteen and i havent lived for long lol but i have read a lot of fics and books, i'm practacally a freak :o i'm such a weird teenager.**

**&i know this is a bit short but i can write the next one easily, i know exactly where i'm going to take this**

**thank you & enjoy**

**- Sophiieeeee xx**

Peyton's chocolate eyes widened in shock as she saw the scene before her. She exhaled a scream of unbearable distress as she locked eyes on the old oak tree and the creature before it.

As the stepped closer to the tree, the creature flinched as she approached it.

She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw a note attached to the creature which read

_Born 18th May 2010_

_Runt_

Her mouth shaped into an 'o' shape as she read the note. For one, it had no name, but secondly how could someone do this to a innocent living thing. As soon as she finished reading the note, tears formed behind her eyelids

She stepped closer to the animal, as she did the creature trembled in fear and shoke like a leaf. This sight was too much for her too bare. She picked up the autumn shaded beagle and held it in her arms, She held the small puppy and cradled her back and forth until her distressing cries died out like an unwatered flower.

**xx**

Peyton carried the puppy home; one more day in that place and the poor thing may have starved she already seen a baby die before her eyes she couldn't watch another one. Just as she was about to enter the road she lives on her phone began to ring, which startled the puppy.

"Shh," She whispered, trying to calm her down and answer her phone, however she decided to use a low and quiet tone, being careful to not startle the creature laying, almost lifelessly in her arms.

"Hello," She greeted the person on the other line and waited for the callers response.

"Hey, it's me," Peyton heard Lucas' tensed and impatient tone begin to speak on the other line, "Where are you?" She sensed how worried he was, she could feel it in his voice, all she heard was anxiety.

"I'm on my way," She truthfully replied, as she slowly made her way down the extremely familiar street and inhaled it's warm scent in the air, "I just had to make a pitstop she said, peering at the puppy in her arms.

"Okay.." He sighed in relief of her safety and his tense worried voice shaped into relaxation as he calmed down.

"Are you home?," She asked, honestly hoping he wasn't so she could attempt at nursing the poor animal back to health.

"No, I just wanted to know where you are, Brooke called and i-" He began rambling about how worried he has been, but Peyton interrupted.

"Luke, I'm not a kid. I'm fine." She stated, making an attempt to reassure him, she wasn't a little girl he had to babysit all the time.

"I know, I'm sorry, I, I'll see you at home," He replied, beginning to wrap up the conversation.

"Yeah, sure, I uh, I love you," She confessed, now wanting to rush home.

"You too, Bye" He replied before hanging up.

He gave himself a small smile. _I love you._ It was a start, a step _forward_.

**xx**

As she welcomed the fragile piece of life into her home, she trembled. What would Lucas say, what would he do? Every single possible emotion ran through her mind. He could be Happy. Excited. Angry. Disappointment. She racked her brain over and over again, worrying of what he might possibly say or do. She ran over every feeling and emotion.

She missed out one. One reaction and that was how he reacted. He wasn't Happy or sad. Proud or disappointed. He was just suprised. He didn't know how he felt about it; but he certainly wasn't angry or disappointed.

He didn't really know how to react.

**xx**

"You stupid asshole!" Haley practically screeched at her best friend. They were alone sitting at her table located in the center of her kitchen.

"What?" Lucas asked, clearly confused with that boy brain of his. He looked at Haley half insulted and half not knowing wnhat the hell she was talking about.

"Be supportive you idiot!" She growled again, this time abit softer, but was still clearly angry at him, "She's depressed, lonely and regetful Luke! Looking after this dog might distract her and it might take her mind of it, you never know it might make her emerge from rock bottom," Haley wrapped up her speech, hoping that Lucas would see the light and the path to the main road.

When Haley finished exagerrating her words into a speech, he thought long and hard about her words. She was right; he didn't understand it, he wasn't completely happy about it, but, he had to support it if this was what she wanted.

"You're right," Lucas stated; which came as a suprise to Haley. That he admitted to the fact that she was right. They were like brother and sister, they were always competing.

"What?-I mean, I know!" She happily exclaimed and took a mouthfull out of her drink, while Lucas let out a chuckle, causing his best friend to laugh along with him.

"So, you're big house, seems a little empty," He points out, half joking, but half serious aswell.

"I know, that brother of yours has taken my son camping, again, well i guess it's to have some peace and quiet around here," She laughs, a bigger smile planting on her face.

"Okay, I think i should get going," He begins to wrap up his visit and conclude their discussion.

**xx**

Lucas' piercing blue eyes focused on the property in which he owned. He slowly unlocked the front door with his silver key and prayed that he wouldn't be involved in another domestic arguement.

Soon he was face to face with his spouse, but she performed the action opposite to the action he expected her to perform.

Peyton ran toward him threw her arms around his neck, she was engulfed in silence. She didn't cry, she didn't say a word.

"Wh-hat's the matter?" He asked shocked by the past ten seconds; he looked down at her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I-i-thought, you left me, I," She stuttered on her words, her speech slurred, barely making the words out.

"Peyton, i would never- I love you, I mind about the dog, as long as you're happy-" He confessed, eliminating her frown and planting a smile on her face.

She rose from his embrace and tip toed upward to brush her lips against his.

"Thank you and I love you too, besides, I know what her name is, anyway," She admitted an even bigger smile shaping her lips, now dimples were added.

"What?" He asked, still holding her.

"Well," She began softly, excitement building up within her, "I was talking to her earlier about our baby- and when I said Sawyer- she drew attention to me," She replied confidently.

"Really?" He asked, as she nodded, he moved toward he puppy.

"Sawyer, come here," He requested the dog and the autumn-bronze beagle granted the request by travelling to his side.

_Pain._

_Shock._

_Guilt._

Love

and now Happiness.

They were all feelings and she was feeling them.

_**xx**_

**See i can go from rockbottom to heaven :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello x]]**

**Sorry for the wait aggaiinn.**

**So now im sorta running out of excuses.. mhmm mhm**

**Uhh sory? *insert cute adorable face* :D**

**I've been on vacation for the past week and in a few weeks i have to return from my prison break to the horrifying dungeon entitled 'school'**

**tenth grade/year ten.**

**So to this fic. sorry its short. im thinking of wrapping it up soon though because i have ughhh exams in november ughhh. So i have to do like a flobbity gillion study thons ): Btw I'm fourteen so, i'm not that good at writing so, i'm sorry if it's not as good as everyone else, soz. **

**I know you were all suprised about the dog thing, but i think it was really original and that Peyton could heal better with this storyline than my other one and i think it's kinda realistic. I tried. well i am a teen so making it realistic was an extremely big deal for me. (i'm a fairytale freak, unicorns are my best friends :D)**

**Hopefully i'll get the next one out soon, i've already started on it and i hope i can finish it quickly :D**

**i think thats all, thank you for all the reviews and for reading :D**

**and i hope you liek this :D**

Feelings. Real Feelings. Feelings she hasn't felt in a long time. Although it was only a little over a month, it felt like forever. It didn't feel real. It felt like a dream, that she couldn't wake up from. Then she woke up.

She was alive. She wasn't numb any longer. She rose from her rock bottom.

And It felt great. But it wasn't a happy ending. She missed her baby. She wanted her baby. Life was still cruel.

But what isn't? She had been happy before and it doesn't last. Happiness is cruel. Everything in this broken world is cruel.

You just have to accept that, it's just life.

**xx**

"So, You've made a lot of progress, i see," The phychiarist stated. She stated. A fact, a true statement, not an opinion, a pint of view that was probably wrong. The truth.

"Yes," She confessed, that word lingered in her mind progress. and a lot of it, "I've been doing better, now, i feel, better than a month a go,"

"You seem to be saying that a lot," She noticed. It was true, she compared to the past; last week, or last month.

"What?"

"saying, quote ' a lot better than, yesterday or last week or last month," She pointed out.

"I guess so, but i do feel better than i did last month,"

"As you keep saying, but do you feel, better?" The phychiarist asked, throwing the question in the center of Peyton's attention.

Those five words left her speechless, she produced the answer she wanted to say behind her lips, but she didn't speak it because, it wasn't true.

"No,"

**xx**

"Hi Mom," She announced as she slowlt placed a mixture of flowers in from of her mothers tombstone and began to talk to her.

"So things have been a lot better, lately, I don't feel, like i felt a few weeks ago and I'm putting all the love i was going to give to my baby to someone else and I feel happier," She confessed all her mixted feelings all in one second.

She took a second to gather the words together before she spoke them, "Lucas, is gone, but not in the 'people always leave' way but he's gone to do some book signing and some writing, so he can make peace over this whole thing," She forced a laugh and stared willingly into her mothers name,

"I had to really talk him into it, he didn't really want to leave me, but i think i reassured him, like a lot that i was ok, I knew that something was up from the moment he walked in," She partly goated and went back to telling the story, "You know when people have his look on their face and you know something is wrong, well he had that loock," She quietly laughed, now lost in the story.

"When, he told me about his crappy day, i realised i wasn't the only one who was hurting over his baby dieing thing, he is hurting too," She admitted looking down at the flowers, however so looked up again when her lips parted to tell the ending of her story, "So, i told him too forget about my pain for a while and go to book signings, write and heal with his art, but it really did take a long time for me to talk him into it," She laughed as she remembered the previous night.

That night was great. That night was amazing. That night they did the thing they hadn't done in over a year. It was magical

Now, life didn't seem so cruel after all

**xx**

Sawyer leaped into Peyton's lap and the speed of her tail moving from right to left increased. She stroked her from head to tail and made fake suprised faces to increase her excitement.

She never seemed to bark, which was odd for a dog. It was like a lion eating a plant, just strange. She pulled a green tennis ball from her waist and threw it in the air. As she caught it; Peyton assured herself

_or course she was a normal dog_

Peyton rose from the bench she was sitting on and held the retrieved tennis ball in her ball and threw it again, Her dimples shone accross her face as she watching the puppy chase the small object.

She walked around the small field with her new sidekick and called to her, "Sawyer," She called and the beagle appeared by her side. She attatched the leash to Sawyer's collar and began to walk out of the public space.

Things were finally beginning to look up

**xx**

**:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hii x]**

**Waddup :))**

**I was quick - ish, wasn't i? well not really. but i had a great time writing this, i'm so glad now i can write sappy romantic stuff :)**

**AND YAY it's actually not short :) okay now i feel like a stoned college person :)**

**okay to this story i think maybe one more chapter than an epilogue something like that :)**

**so i think thats it, well i hope you like it and**

**thank you & goodnight :D**

**- Sophieee**

**x**

**enjoy**

**xx**

There's no such thing as closure is there? When something bad happens to you, you never really forget it do you? You never just wake up one day and it's gone. It's just not possible. In the tense of a terrible tragedy, the cuts and bruises may fade, but there will always be a scar.

xx

Peyton stared into the glistening silver substance that hung on the wall, her light locks scattering over her shoulders. She gave herself a small smile and she took one last glance at the mirror before turning away.

Today was a new day. It was lighter and brighter. The sun had come out to play. It had finally stopped raining.

A rainbow was drawn accross the sky.

xx

Peyton stepped outside with Sawyer's leash in her right hand, she observed the sky, it was blue, not engulfed with clouds, dark clouds, it was a special kind of blue, It was aqua, not a cloud in the sky, the blazing sun was in the center, shining it's love and light to every soul who witnessed it.

Everything about this day seemed brighter, It didn't seem as cruel and harsh, It seemed kind and willing; She hadn't thought of this place in that way in a long period of time.

She entered the facility filled with only shamrock green grass and a pathway diagraming a meander around it.

"Here you go," She softly spoke as she freed Sawyers collar from the passionate red leash, causing her to run all over and around the field. Peyton observed in awe as she watched the beagle run so freely and so elegantly, She desired to be like that. To not be silenced by pain and suffering, just to be, free.

She giggled slightly as Sawyer dropped a chocolate brown tig at her feet, she picked it up and threw it as far as she could, she peered at Sawyer chasing the ball and retrieved her vibrating phone from her pocket and her dimpled striked out in a smile as she witnessed the caller id.

"Hi, sweetie," She said sweetly, expanding her smile, "What's up?" she asked, making conversation.

"Not much," He began to answer her question, "Just taking a walk, in this, park," He answered fully and truthfully.

Her heart fluttered with excitement as he answered her question, "Really me too, I'm walking Sawyer at his park-field type place," She replied, flushing with enthusiasm.

"I know," He confidently pronounced, causing a heap of confusion to rush over her.

"What, how could you possibly- Oh my god!" She exclaimed in shock when she witnessed him standing three meters away from him. Her first action was her running towards him and practically pouncing on him, closing any space between them, then causing Sawyer, too run towar them too.

"I missed you," She confessed after pulling away from his grasp and locking eyes with him and giving him a warm gaze.

**xx**

**"**Don't you think you're being just a little dramatic about this," Peyton asked her best friend. She and Brooke were seated in Peyton and Lucas' sitting room, Sawyer comfortably laying in Peyton's lap.

"She stripped naked infront of him!" She angrily exclaimed and leaped out of her seat and starting pacing back and forth so quickly as though the floor was about to break.

"Brooke, honey, look, It's not that big of a deal," She made at an attempt to reassure her.

"Not that big of a deal! Naked, Peyton, she stripped naked infront of him!" She repeated, even more angry.

"I know but, this could actually be a good thing," She pointed out but half bracing herself for her reaction.

"What? Are you insane?" She asked in another heap of anger.

"Look, I know what Alex did was bad, but on the plus side, Julian didn't sleep with her, so.." She explained her opinion, causing Brooke's anger to calm.

"Well, i guess so, but.." She began to protest, but was interrupted.

"But nothing, this just shows that he's not capable of cheating on you," She said, locking eyes with her and persuading her to confide in her, "Brooke, Alex is not me and Julian is not Lucas,"

"I know..thank you," She said proudly and leaned in to hug her, when pulling away collapsed back in her chair.

"So, whats up with you?" She asked, laughing.

"Well, i-," She tried to speak, but was as usual interrupted.

"You have the look," She excitedly pointed out, flushing with excitement.

"What look?" Peyton asked her mind filled with confusion.

"The look! Oh mu god, you had sex!" Brooke made the enthusiastic prediction.

"Brooke-" She tried to protest, but it was no good.

**xx**

"So why are we here again?" Lucas asked his wife. He and Peyton were in a strange restaurant that only served pies.

"Thank you," Peyton praised the waitor as he placed large sized pie in front of her.

"I'm hungry," She stated, before practacally digging in her pie.

"I gathered that," He replied with a chuckle.

"You know it's amazing how much you can eat and not be fat,"

"Shut up!" She fake-angrily exclaimed and hit him playfully.

He let out a heap of laughter and greeted the waitor for his pie, and chuckled again, comparing his small pie to her mega-large pie.

**xx**

"..But how could that be possible, 'My Pie' never gave you food poisioning before," Haley stated.

"I know, but-" She was interupted when she sprinted to a garbage bin to empty the vomit from her mouth.

"Ooh, thats gotta be bad," She pointed put causing Peyton to turn to her and say sarcastically, "Oh, you don't say,"

"Come on," She started to say, "Leet's get you home before you..erupt, again," She finished her sentence with a slight giggle.

"Nice way to put it Hales.."

**xx**

"Oh my god, Peyton, you're not gonna believe this," He excitedly siad with enthusiasm.

"What is it sweetie?" She entered the room hiding something behind her back.

"I can't believe it, I didn't get food poisioning,i didn't throw up, maybe it was just your pie," He confidentlly said, then witnessed her damp cheeks, "What's wrong, are you ok?"

She nodded more fluids emerging from her eye lids, "Yes, these are happy tears," She truthfully said.

"Okay, what's going on," He asked her, after she sat down next to him

"I'm pregnant,"

**xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorryy.**

**It's been a craazzzyyy week. Firstly, it's my first week of tenth grade, is that the beginning of high school? idk oh well secondly i have huge blisters at the backs of my feet. thirdly. the homework is COUNTLESS hours and fourth and worse, i sprained my wrist so i can't do the only thing i actually can do... thats it.. WRITE. It's not fair. **

**Anyway back to this. yeah it's short. SOZ. but it kinda hurts every time i type a word :( and it's mushy, but hey i said it was going to be happy at the end. (btw not the last chapter, one more) **

**I know not a lot of people read this but i'm sorry for the people who do, i'm sorry i took so long, but yeah i have my reasons.**

**Also if you have requests, like any other ships from different shows and movies let me know. I'll do anything to practise my writing :) (as you have notice i want to be a writer someday :) )**

**Anyways i'm sorry for being so late and i hope you enjoy this chappy :)**

**enjoy **

**- Soph **

**I**

**I**

xx

"Oh my god!" Were the only words Lucas could speak asfter hearing the bombed shell after recovering from the shock, a smile pastered on his face and he began showering Peyton's face with kisses, causing her to giggle, when he stopped, she leaned in to kiss him, brushing her lips against his softly.

Soon they colllapsed onto the bed, in eachothers arms

**xx**

Lucas wrapped an arm around Peyton's waist as they strolled through the cemetary with Sawyer.

"Luke, um, can you give me a moment?" She asked staring into her mothers headstone, her eyes just focused on the shimmering silver colour with her mother's name engraved in it.

"Sure," He replied, planting a kiss on her forehead, "Come on Sawyer," He called to the dog and walked off.

"Hi, Mom," She greeted her headstone, kneeling down, so she's not much taller than the gravestone.

"Things are so much better now," She confessed, out of the blue. "It's not like I've forgotten about my baby or anything but, I feel happy now, I don't feel numb or sad or depressed, I just feel happy," She smiled hugely, her dimples showing when she said that last word.

"I'm pregnant, I haven't forgotten about my other baby, but I have a really good feeling about this one, So, If you have something to do with how they make the decisions up there, please don't let anything happen to this one," She wrapped up her last word, pleading with her and the heavens and God and Jesus.

However, she stayed silent when she saw Lucas in the distance with Sawyer's leash in hand headed toward them.

**xx**

"Hello?" Peyton spoke groggily, sitting up slightly in her comfortable bedding, wondering who would call her at half past two in the morning.

"Hey, it's me, we need to talk," The speaker on the other end of the line spoke with a jumpy voice and tensed words,

"Brooke?" She questioned, her mind puzzled and confused, "What could you possibly want to talk about at half past two in the morning?" She half annoyed and half angrily asked.

"I just, have a thing, I, need to talk to you about," She slowly replied, her speech slurred and stuttering on her words.

"Ok, but can't we do this at lunch, or, something?"

"Ok, sure," Brooke, not sure on the idea, replied and hanged up the phone.

"That was weird," She said to herself, before laying back in bed.

"Who was that?" Lucas silently said, his eyes closed and wrapping his arms around her.

"Just Brooke,"

**xx**

As every single clock in the world struck ten o' clock, a knock was pounding on Peyton and Lucas' door, it was loud, but tensed and shaken.

"Brooke?" Peyton was suprised to see her best friend's presence at her door. By her facial features, she new something was occuring, something was happening.

"Hey, I uh, need to talk to you," She stuttered on the words she spoke as she communicated with the vacant of the house,

"Sure, what's up," She replied and lead her into her house.

"I know, this is going to make you upset and regretful, so, please don't hate me," Brooke pleaded shakily and tensed.

"Sweetie, i could never hate you, trust me," Peyton reassured her, "What's going on?"

"I'm, I'm pregnant," She confessed, causing Peyton's eyes widen.

She placed her hands like a triangle covering her nose and a fluid sprung from her eyes and she slowly wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"Wait- you're not sad or angry or-" She spoke out in confusion, puzzles crossing her memory.

"No, just happy for you, for us," Peyton replied with the biggest smile upon her face.

She smiled, but Peyton's last couple of words confused her, "What?" She backed away from the huig, locking eyes with her.

"I'm pregnant too," She finally confessed, causing Brooke to practically pounce on her.

"Oh my god, we're gonna be like twin Mommies!"

**xx**

**About nine months later.**

**(Umm, I'm 14, i don't really know how pregnancy, morning sickness etc works and i don't intend to forr another ten years or so :P not even looking at guys yet, nuff said :P)**

"I can't believe it," Peyton made out silent words in joy. Her eyes were locked on the tiny human beings crying in her arms, "I know, baby, It's ok, Mommy's here," She reassured her daughter and her son, welcoming to her world, the wonderful world, It was cruel anymore it was just perfect, kind and generous. It was amazing

"I'm going to love you forever and ever. I'll never let you go, nothing will ever happen to you, know that I'm here," She promised the two young souls, while tears sprang from her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. She leaned in and kissed the top of their little heads.

Slowly she turned her chocolate eyes to face her husband and locked hers with his piercing blue ones. Lovingly, he leaned in and brushed his lips against her forehead, taking the sweat away and relieving her from the pain she just went through, she almost forgot it, because now she was immune to any sort of pain, in this moment she felt weightless.

Gently and carefully he lifted his son from his wife's arms and slowly collapsed into the wooden chair and gazed down at the small piece of life before him, his little delicate hand squeezing his finger.

"I love you," He spoke out in a whisper, a sole tear breaking on to his face, Her sweat pounded face, turned into a sweet smile, her dimples shining, "Ditto," She replied, then her loving eyes turned downward to face her daughter.

**xx**

**Soo, thats it. not the ending, though dudes, theres an epilogue probs out next week.**


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